The Kids In the Hall at Chicago Theater

So I had an amazing time seeing The Kids In The Hall. Like, strangely overwhelmingly nostalgic, emotional, amazing good time. Its almost embarrassing how shaped I was by television. Isn't that just so American, raised by t.v.? Is it slightly redeeming that they are Canadian? Anyway, Aaron and I file into our seats as the lights go down and a video illuminates the screen over the stage in front of us. And so begins a prerecorded sketch of the five paunchy, aged members of, in my opinion, the best damned comedy troop ever. I have to admit, although I had been mentally preparing myself to see my t.v. idols too many years out of their prime, it was a bit unsettling at first to see the former youths look like melting wax figures from gravity and time taking its toll. The introductory, on-screen sketch was of the group brainstorming ideas for their new tour, deciding that raping Kevin, despite his wishes, would be the best way to make their grand entrance. "No, no, no." Kevin pleaded. "What if we... rape Bruce! Yeah!" The group stared back blankly. "Pretty hee-haw kind of stuff there Kevin," replied Bruce. And so, the final vote was to rape Kevin. "We could even open the whole show with it, if we play our theme song..." Suddenly, the film comes to life with the booming signature guitar riffs of Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet filling the theater, and four screaming Kids chasing one Speedo-ed Kevin with an apple in his mouth move from the screen to the stage. The crowd roars! The show begins! All the energy of the once youthful figures is alive and well right in front of my eyes. There is the magic. I am so glad I came. This feels unreal.

Seeing The Kids In the Hall, the great idols of my teenage years, shapers of my personality more than school and church and girl scouts combined, well, it was strange and weird and wonderful all at the same time. These characters I grew up with were becoming a reality, screaming and cursing, the actors changing between takes and fumbling their lines, Kevin at one point cracking up and hiding under a chair for his faux pas. They were as I had never thought I would see them. REAL. It was like being a little kid, and thinking, man I love Oscar the Grouch. You may not realize he's a puppet, but you certainly would be confused if he was real. And then you get to meet him. And he's really real, right in front of you. Meeting Oscar the Grouch. I'd be like, "What you got in that trash can, Oscar the Grouch?" and he'd show me. Take me on a tour. But that's another time. These people are the characters they play in a sense. What is the Chicken Lady without Mark? Its just a costume. So I sat there and watch my idols, my favorite characters, all really real, right in front of me, with a big dumb smile plastered on my face for the duration of the show, hooting and hollering, jeering and laughing, and welling with tears. Yes, tears. Because I was laughing so hard, yes, but also tears for the glow I felt inside watching my heroes come to life.

Its funny, as an adult, I am hardly ever star-struck anymore, ya' know. People are people, and that's that. But these people on this night, they were an exception to that rule. Most memories from childhood never quite keep their same shape. We learn new pieces to the puzzle, we find out the rest of the story as we grow up and learn about life and our past. You find out what really happened that day, and the memories start to lose their golden glow. But all that was good and gold about The Kids In the Hall never changed for me. So much of my humor and understanding and open-mindedness came from watching Buddy, one of the only homosexuals I knew of growing up in small-town Ohio, or the shoulder-padded Kathy's under their glass ceiling. They forced me to just begin cracking the surface of feminism and oppression and hypocrisy and prejudice, subjects I still unfold the layers of to this day. These characters and commentaries questioned the government and religion, stereotypes and oppression. They made me laugh, yes, but most importantly, they made me think. I wanted to go up there and hug each and every one of them and thank them for being such amazing individuals, and for coming back into my adult reality to say hello. And, sadly, to say goodbye. Scott, Mark, Kevin, Bruce and Dave, they all had a hand in my upbringing, and I cried tears of joy when I was able to stand with hundreds of others touched individuals in that packed Chicago Theater and thank them in person with a thunderous, cheering, standing ovation. And the best part of all this was my husband standing at my side. We met each other as adults, and we exchange stories of our upbringing, but we can never really know what it was like to know each other as kids. But we both grew up on The Kids. We both know what that was like, watching and laughing and learning from these crazy Canadians in small-town Ohio. We probably like parts of each other that were somewhat formed by Kids In the Hall humor. And that's just great. I love that. I really do. I loved the show. My husband loved the show. And together, we still love the Kids In the Hall, after all these years.

Thank you Bruce McCulloch, Mark McKinney, Dave Foley, Scott Thompson, Kevin McDonald, Paul Bellini, Lorne Michaels, and everyone else who had a hand in making The Kids In the Hall a reality. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Written with love by Danielle N. Kramer

Rape Kevin! Sketch